We’re a Looney Tunes Family Now

Ben suggested Coyote vs. Acme last weekend because he said it would be “easy.”

This is how you know a man has never taken a six-year-old to a movie involving a coyote with unlimited access to explosives.

Lucy knew the Road Runner mostly from little clips, which apparently was enough. Within ten minutes she was completely invested in Wile E. Coyote’s legal and emotional wellbeing. By the end she was asking why nobody had ever made ACME give him his money back.

Fair question, honestly.

The problem is that the movie did not stay at the movie theater.

All week there have been drawings.

Not normal drawings. Plans.

There are ramps. There are pulleys. There was something involving a laundry basket, three couch cushions and an arrow labeled “FAST.” Cooper has been assigned the role of Road Runner, which seems unfair considering he is thirteen and currently considers walking from the kitchen to the living room a major athletic event.

Yesterday I found a cardboard box on the stairs with ACME written across the side in red marker.

I asked what was inside.

Lucy said, “Nothing dangerous.”

This did not have the reassuring effect she intended.

I’d also forgotten how genuinely funny Looney Tunes can be. Not clever-for-the-grown-ups funny. Just a coyote confidently making one terrible decision after another while everyone watching knows exactly where this is going.

There is probably a lesson in there somewhere.

I’m choosing not to look for it.

Anyway, if anybody sees Ben carrying a leaf blower into the backyard this weekend, please intervene.

He and Lucy have been whispering.